This month I’m celebrating 10 years as a practising counsellor. As I’m writing this I can’t believe it’s been a whole decade since I first sat down with a new client! This is such a milestone for me and a massive achievement, I can’t help but feel so proud of myself.

Thinking back over this time, I’ve had such varied experiences and done a whole lot of self reflection and personal growth, as well as thinking about the counselling field as a whole, and there are some key points I’d like to share with you all.

Human first, Counsellor second

One of the most important things I’ve learnt over the last 10 years is that counsellors and psychotherapists are not perfect beings that know all the answers, have all their sh*t together and never mess up. Imposter syndrome is rife within the counselling community and there is often a pressure to be ‘perfect’, when actually this is not realistic nor doable.

Actually, both counselling theory and my personal experience over the years has taught me that (generally speaking) when I make mistakes within the counselling space and own them, it has a positive effect because it reminds our clients that it’s OK to be imperfect, something that many of us struggle with and which society often tries to convince us otherwise.

Mental health professionals are not immune to mental health issues

I have struggled with both anxiety and depression throughout most of my life, and although part of my training included having my own personal therapy, being a counsellor does not suddenly make me immune to these issues cropping back up when life throws me curveballs. In fact, I have been in and out of therapy for the past 10+ years and I am very much a better person for it.

As well as having my own therapy when the occasion calls for it, striving for regular and consistent self-care plays a major role for me in being able to be there for my clients and successfully help them navigate their issues. My self care varies greatly, from striving to lead a healthy lifestyle and making time for the hobbies I love, to charging a fair fee and saying no when my books are full.

Qualifications are not everything

Over the years I have met some brilliant counsellors, and some awful ones! One thing I’ve noticed is that more academically trained counsellors and psychotherapists don’t necessarily equate to being more successful in helping their clients. There is definitely a strong vocational element to this kind of work, and the personality and personal characteristics of the counsellor play a major role in the ability to do this job.

Of course, as counselling is an unregulated profession, it’s best to check that any counsellor/psychotherapist you work with has gone through some formal training and has appropriate qualifications (training often takes years and the minium professional standard is a Level 4 diploma).

The client-counsellor relationship is key

Just as qualifications aren’t everything, there is no one type of counselling that is better than the rest. Actually, it’s arguable the single most important factor in a positive and successful therapeutic outcome is the strength of the ‘therapeutic alliance’ i.e. the relationship the client has with their counsellor*. This often means it can be a bit ‘trial and error’ trying to find a therapist that is the right fit for you.

There are still many barriers for people accessing therapy

Although video call counselling has become more mainstream in recent years (thanks COVID!), unfortunately there are still things that get in the way of people getting help with their mental health.

The cost of living crisis makes private therapy an unrealistic option for many, and with the NHS overstretched and underfunded, getting therapy through this route is often met with incredibly long wait times and short-term models that are unsuitable for some.

Other barriers include cultural stigmas around speaking to a stranger about your problems or the idea that having therapy makes you ‘weak’ somehow. For some, they put it off because they don’t know how to choose the right counsellor or not understanding how the space can help.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this and found it helpful, feel free to comment, like and share it on your social media. If you’re looking to start therapy, get in touch to see if I can help.

*Horvath, A. O., & Symonds, B. D. (1991). Relation between working alliance and outcome in psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 38(2), 139–149. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.38.2.139