Tag: Counselling

New Year Mental Health Counselling Therapy

The Fresh Start You Actually Need in 2026

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The last time I sat down to write a New Year’s blog it was 1st January 2020. Little did I know about the chaos that was in store for the world, already developing but hadn’t yet reached a big enough blip on the worlds radar to notice or care.

That was six years ago, which is crazy to think about how much has changed, not just in the world, but for me both personally and professionally. I’ve had to navigate maintaining a business during a global pandemic, and then the resulting cost of living crisis. I’ve also been continuing to upskill my professional knowledge and gained an additional qualification as a counselling supervisor.

On a personal level, this has been arguably the most difficult period of my adult life. Having to navigate through multiple losses, celebrating the joy of getting married to my long term partner but also having to navigate through relationship difficulties. Life rarely presents itself in neat, separate chapters.

I’m not sharing for sympathy here, but because I know I’m not alone in having experienced significant challenges over these past six years. Many of you reading this will have your own stories of loss, upheaval, resilience, and survival. Moving into 2026, you might be feeling the familiar pressure to set ambitious New Year’s resolutions, as if we haven’t all been through enough already.

Perhaps you’re already thinking about dramatic lifestyle overhauls, strict new routines, or grand commitments that promise to transform your life overnight. But here’s the thing: research consistently shows that most New Year’s resolutions don’t make it past January.

So rather than setting ourselves up for another year of unfulfilled promises and self-criticism, what if we approached 2026 differently? What if instead of chasing perfection through rigid resolutions, we focused on living more consciously and making purposeful changes that actually stick?

Reflecting on What No Longer Serves You

Before we rush forward into planning and goal-setting, it’s worth taking some time to pause and reflect on where we’ve been. Not just 2025, but these past few years as a whole. Not with judgment or harsh criticism, but with genuine curiosity about what worked, what didn’t, and what might need to shift.

The experiences we’ve all lived through have changed us. Some of those changes we chose, many we didn’t, and that’s OK. What matters now is asking yourself: what patterns, habits, relationships, or beliefs are no longer serving me? Rather than blaming yourself for what went wrong, be honest and acknowledge where you might be investing energy into things that aren’t bringing you fulfilment, growth, or wellbeing.

Perhaps it’s a friendship that’s become one-sided, or maybe it’s a job that’s draining you more than it’s sustaining you. It could be habits you’ve fallen into that don’t align with the person you want to be, or ways of thinking about yourself that keep you stuck. Whatever it is, giving yourself permission to name what’s not working is how you take that first step forward.

The Power of Conscious Living

Living consciously means being present and intentional with your choices, instead of drifting through life on autopilot. It’s about checking in with yourself regularly and asking: is this choice aligned with my values? Is this bringing me closer to or further away from the life I want to create?

This doesn’t mean you need to overthink every decision or put pressure on yourself to be “perfect” in your choices. It’s more about developing an awareness of the direction you’re heading and making small adjustments along the way. Think of it like steering a ship; you don’t need to make dramatic turns, just gentle course corrections that keep you moving toward your destination.

Conscious living also means accepting that not every day will feel purposeful or meaningful, and that’s okay. Some days you’ll just be getting through, and simply getting through some days is achievement enough. Most importantly, the accumulation of more conscious choices over time is what creates a life that feels more authentic and satisfying.

Making Changes That Actually Last

So how do we create change that lasts beyond January? Here are some approaches that research and my experience as a counsellor have shown to be effective:

Start small and specific. Instead of “get fit” or “be happier,” think about one tiny action you can take regularly. Maybe it’s a 10-minute walk three times a week, or checking in with yourself each morning to notice how you’re feeling. Small changes are sustainable changes.

Focus on addition, not subtraction. Rather than thinking about what you need to stop doing or give up, consider what you want to add to your life. What brings you joy? What helps you feel grounded? What activities leave you feeling energised rather than drained? When you add more of these positive experiences, the things that don’t serve you often naturally fall away.

Build in flexibility. Life happens and you will have difficult weeks, unexpected challenges, and days when your plans completely fall apart. It’s common to have an “all or nothing” response when this happens; we miss one day and suddenly think “well, I’ve ruined it now, might as well give up entirely.” Rather than seeing disruption as failure and having the urge to trash it all and abandon ship, build flexibility into your approach from the start, so that if you miss a few days here (or even a month), it doesn’t need to be the end.

Connect changes to your values. Why does this change matter to you? What will it give you that’s important? When your changes are rooted in your internal values rather than external expectations, they become more meaningful and easier to maintain.

Get support when you need it. Change is hard, and you don’t have to do it alone. Whether it’s talking to friends, family, or working with a counsellor, having support can make all the difference in navigating the challenges that come up.

A Fresh Start On Your Terms

The new year can absolutely be a fresh start, a symbolic turning of the page that gives us permission to try again or begin something new, but this doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s life, and it certainly doesn’t need to involve dramatic transformations or punishing routines.

Your fresh start might be as simple as deciding to be kinder to yourself, or it might be committing to one small habit that supports your wellbeing. It might be finally having that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, or saying no to something that’s been draining your emotional battery.

Whatever form it takes, let it be yours. Let it be realistic, compassionate, and aligned with who you actually are, not who you think you should be.

Moving Forward With Hope

As we move into 2026, I want you to know that it’s okay to hope for better. It’s OK to want things to improve, to dream of a year that feels lighter, more fulfilling, or more aligned with what matters to you. Hope isn’t naive, it’s necessary. But alongside it, be gentle with yourself; change takes time and some days will feel like progress, whereas others might convince you you’re going backwards.

2026 has the potential to be different, not because of grand resolutions or dramatic overhauls, but because you’re approaching it with more awareness, more intentionality, and more compassion. And sometimes, that’s all the fresh start we need.

If you’re finding it difficult to make the changes you want to see in your life, or if you’re struggling to move past patterns that no longer serve you, counselling can provide a supportive space to explore these challenges. You can contact me on 07568 350 457, email psi.counselling@gmail.com, or use my contact form to discuss how we might work together.

Email Counselling: Could Writing Be Your Therapy?

Published on by psicounselling

When most people think about therapy, they picture sitting in a room with a counsellor, having a conversation about their struggles. But what if I told you there’s another way to access meaningful therapeutic support that doesn’t involve speaking out loud at all? Email counselling (also known as email therapy or text-based therapy) is a form of therapy that might just be the perfect fit for you.

Email therapy isn’t a new concept for me. Back in the early 2010’s, I spent two years providing email support through the mental health charity SANE and witnessed how useful it could be for people who struggled to call their helpline. That experience inspired me to think outside the box, and it had always been in the back of my mind as an option for therapy once I trained as counsellor. In 2024 I came across some formal training through the Email Counselling Academy, and I leapt at the opportunity. It helped me to refresh my skills to offer this as a more accessible option to my existing private practice.

But email therapy isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. Let me explain what makes it a unique way of working and help you work out if it could be right for you.

What Is Email Counselling?

Email counselling works quite differently from traditional talking therapy. Rather than meeting at a scheduled time for a live conversation, we exchange structured emails on agreed dates. You send your email on a set day, and I respond thoughtfully after an agreed amount of time (usually two working days). This asynchronous approach means there’s no need to coordinate our schedules for one time slot, and both of us have time to properly reflect on what’s being shared.

The process is still therapeutic and follows the same ethical guidelines as any other form of counselling. Our exchanges remain confidential, and I bring the same level of professional care and training to my written responses as I would in any face-to-face or video call sessions.

Why Email Counselling Can Be Powerful

Time to Process Your Thoughts

One of the biggest advantages of email therapy is the time it gives you to articulate what’s really going on. When you’re sitting in a therapy room, you might feel pressured to fill the silence or struggle to find the right words in the moment. With email counselling, you can take your time. You can draft, revise, and really think about what you want to say. For many people, this leads to deeper self-reflection and more meaningful insights.

Reduced Anxiety and Pressure

If the thought of sitting across from a therapist makes your heart race, you’re not alone. Many people find face-to-face therapy incredibly anxiety-inducing, especially at the start. Email therapy removes that immediate pressure. There’s no eye contact to maintain, no awkward silences, and no feeling of being watched or judged. You can write from the comfort of your own home, in your pyjamas if you like, at a time that feels right for you.

Accessible When Life Gets Complicated

Perhaps you have caring responsibilities that make it impossible to commit to the same time each week. Maybe you work shifts, travel frequently, struggle with transport, or live somewhere remote. Email counselling can fit around the complexities of your life in a way that scheduled appointments simply can’t. You’re not limited by geography or time zones, you just need an internet connection.

A Record of Your Journey

Another unique benefit is that you have a written record of your therapy. You can re-read our conversations, reflect on how your thinking has evolved, and revisit insights when you need them most. Some people find this incredibly valuable for tracking their progress and reinforcing the work they’re doing.

Perfect for Reflective Processors

If you’re someone who processes things better through writing, email therapy could be a great opportunity for transformation. Some of us need time to sit with our feelings and thoughts before we can express them. Writing provides that space. It can help you identify patterns, express things that feel too difficult to say out loud, and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.

When Email Counselling Isn’t Appropriate

As powerful as email therapy can be for some, I need to be honest about its limitations. Email counselling is not suitable if:

  • You’re experiencing a mental health crisis or having suicidal thoughts
  • You need immediate support or intervention
  • You’re dealing with severe or acute mental health symptoms that require more intensive care
  • You find writing difficult or struggle with expressing yourself in written form
  • You would benefit from the immediate back-and-forth dialogue that live sessions offer
  • You’re dealing with complex trauma that requires more immediate therapeutic presence

If you’re in crisis, please refer to my resources page for immediate support options.

Is Email Counselling Right for You?

You might be a good fit for email counselling if:

  • You process your feelings better through writing than talking
  • You feel anxious or overwhelmed by face-to-face interactions
  • Your schedule makes regular appointments difficult or impossible
  • You identity as neurodivergent (e.g. ADHD or autism) and find real-time conversations challenging
  • You want time to really think about what you’re sharing
  • You prefer having a record of your therapy journey to reflect on
  • You find it easier to be honest and vulnerable in writing

How We Can Work Together

If you’re curious about email counselling, I’d love to hear from you. We can have an initial conversation (via phone or email) to discuss whether this approach would suit your needs. I currently offer all my therapy services, including email counselling, at £65 per session.

Email therapy has opened up a new way for me to support people who might otherwise struggle to access help. If you’ve been putting off starting therapy because traditional settings feel too daunting, or if life’s circumstances have made regular appointments tricky, perhaps email counselling could be your way in.

Remember, there’s no one “right” way to do therapy. What matters is finding the approach that works for you, in a way that feels manageable and supportive. If you’d like to explore whether email counselling could help you on your journey towards feeling better, please get in touch.

If you’ve found this article helpful, feel free to share it with anyone who might benefit from learning about alternative ways to access therapy.

Being your own rock: developing a healthy relationship with yourself

Published on by psicounselling

We often hear about the importance of healthy relationships with others, but what about the relationship we have with ourselves? For many of us, being truly present with ourselves can feel uncomfortable or even overwhelming. Yet learning to become our own secure base is one of the most transformative things we can do for our mental health and wellbeing. In this post, we’ll explore practical ways to develop a nurturing, compassionate relationship with yourself using the HEART method as our guide.

Here and now with myself

The idea of being present with yourself sounds simple, but can actually be quite difficult to put into practice for many people. Being truly alone with yourself can sometimes be a painful, uncomfortable experience, and can even feel unsafe if you’re someone who has lived through trauma.

It can be incredibility useful to tap into some of our less well known senses in order to grow our self awareness. By harnessing exteroception (sensing our environment), interoception (sensations within our body) and proprioception (sensing our bodies position in relation to the environment).

Start to notice times when you’re avoiding being alone with yourself, and consider how you might spend more time with you. You could practice different activities, like mindfulness or yoga, trying a body scan, or going out for a walk without your headphones or calling anyone.

Expressing joy and appreciation for myself

If we are to have a good relationship with ourselves, it’s importance to develop the ability to feel joy, appreciation, and compassion toward our self, like you would a loved one. Although our first formation of self-worth develops through childhood experiences and our significant relationships growing up, as adults we need to continue this through consistent positive self talk and self compassion.

Feelings of shame and the inner critics in us can massively undermine our relationship with self. Essentially it’s the mind attacking itself, believing it’s protecting you, when actually it’s causing more damage and blocking opportunities for healing.

Being able to heal from these wounds involves a recognition that these are parts of ourselves that have been born from trauma and conflict, that they are part of us but not ALL we are. Taking a compassion-focused lens to our selves and what we have experienced can really help us to reconnect with our joyful and creative sides, and help to feel safe in our own company.

Put this into practice by reflecting on the aspects of yourself that you appreciate, or try making a list of your top 10 best qualities, maybe even ask those that know you well to list some positive things about you. Lastly, strive to carve out time in your schedule to do something that you enjoy doing.

Attunement to myself

Our ability to tune into our own and others’ inner worlds forms the foundation of secure attachment and emotional regulation. When emotional needs go unmet in childhood, we often develop one of two coping patterns: seeking constant external validation or disconnecting from our feelings entirely. Emotional healing requires learning to attune to ourselves, a conscious practice of noticing what we feel, need, and think, then responding with care and compassion.

How this looks in practice depends on our attachment style. Those with preoccupied or anxious attachment benefit from building a stronger sense of self. Those with avoidant or dismissive attachment need to practice vulnerability and connection with others. And those with fearful-avoidant or disorganised attachment must focus on creating a solid sense of inner safety.

Regardless of attachment style, the way forward is the same; through consistent self-awareness, body connection, and self-compassion, we can develop a secure base within ourselves and become our own nurturing caregiver.

Try reflecting on the ways you already show up for yourself, then ask yourself in what ways can you build on this and start to really attune to your needs. Try grounding techniques that fully engage your senses (think appealing textures or smells, calming sounds and frequencies), consider journaling, or look into mindfulness meditations that incorporate self-compassion and somatic awareness.

Routine and rituals for myself

Part of what makes a healthy relationship involves getting our needs met consistently and predictably. In order to take care of ourselves, we need to make sure we’re eating and sleeping well, plus getting enough rest and making time for joy in our everyday lives. Having routines that align with your natural body clock and living a life that matches your needs and values is so important in feeling emotionally healthy.

This also pairs up with the idea that what we chose to focus our attention on becomes reinforced in our minds. So if you put your energy into creating a life for yourself that is authentic, joyful and aligned with your needs, this will eventually assimilate into your sense of self and become reality.

So have a think about what you’d like as your regular self care (no, not just candle lit baths). Things like making time for regular exercise, meal prep to ensure your body is getting enough nutrition, scheduling in time to meet friends or take part in your favourite activities etc.

Turing towards myself after conflict and triggers

Building a secure attachment with yourself requires learning to work skilfully with your inner critic and emotional triggers. Your inner critic, though usually quite harsh, is quite often actually attempting to protect you from either rejection, failure, or being disliked (or a combination). Understanding the underlying motivations behind your inner critic allows you to “translate” what it’s saying you need, usually it boils down to safety and acceptance.

Rather than speaking directly from this critical part (which often leads to blaming ourselves or others), you can speak for the hurt or vulnerable part of yourself; expressing your needs with clarity means you show up as your authentic self, which creates a space for genuine connection to others.

This skill becomes incredibly handy when managing moments when our nervous systems are triggered, where something in the present moment touches on past pain and our body’s alarm system turns on. So learning to recognise what triggers you and being able to pause and respond, rather than react, you’re creating an opportunity to heal old wounds and to reinforce a positive relationship with yourself.

Take some time to think about how you treat yourself after you’ve made a mistake or haven’t lived up to your own expectations, and how you might go about treating yourself better in those moments. Remember that you don’t have to stay triggered, you can make a conscious choice to disarm your bodies alarm system by practising grounding techniques (such as deep breathing). You could also try debating with your inner critic, by not blindingly taking it’s message as truth but to question if there is another aspect of the situation you had not considered.

Developing a healthy relationship with yourself an ongoing practice, it requires time and effort to develop. This effort, though hard, is well worth it in the end as you deserve the same kindness, understanding, and care from yourself that you would offer to someone you love.

Are you feeling ready to start strengthening your relationship with yourself?

Choose one of the letters in the HEART method that resonates with you and commit to trying it over this next week. Whether it’s spending ten minutes alone without distractions, writing down three things you appreciate about yourself, or simply pausing to check in with how you’re feeling, every small action counts in the end. If you’re feeling inspired, start today! Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything else in your life.

If you’re struggling with learning to love you, counselling could really help give you space and tools to transform the way you see and care for yourself. Get in touch to arrange a call to discuss how I could help you in this journey. I can be reached by phone on 07568350457, email psi.counselling@gmail.com or via my contact form.

From Counsellor to Supervisor: A Journey of Growth and Discovery

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Last year I hit a milestone in my career; it had been a decade of sitting across from clients, holding space for their stories, and witnessing countless moments of breakthroughs and emotional healing. Shortly after writing a blog about my learnings during this time, I found myself reflecting on what might come next.

While I remained committed to my counselling work since beginning my Level 4 diploma in 2013, I wasn’t feeling the same excitement about my counselling practice that I once had. I wondered if this was simply a natural feeling to have at this point in my career and personal life. Then my clinical supervisor made a suggestion: “Have you ever considered training as a supervisor? I think you’d be excellent at it.”

Taking the Leap

The idea intrigued me. Training as a clinical supervisor did feel like a natural next step, especially when I found a course that was accessible and covered not just traditional supervision but also the evolving landscape of online counselling and supervision. The possibility of exploring a new dimension of therapeutic work motivated me to sign up.

However, once I’d committed to the training, I found myself in a panic and wondering whether I’d actually be any good at it. Would I have the skills to guide other counsellors effectively? Could I provide the kind of support and insight that supervisees would need? These doubts lingered as I prepared myself for the course to start.

The Challenges Were Real

What I hadn’t anticipated was how demanding the reading requirements would be, particularly in the early stages of the course when it was top-heavy with theory and research. The volume of material that needed to be absorbed between workshops was overwhelming. As someone who is neurodivergent, my brain processes information slower than average, and I found myself struggling to keep up with the pace and quantity of reading expected.

I was very thankful when this eased off towards the end of the live workshops, but then we were hit with the course assignments and I felt overwhelmed all over again! However I was grateful that I could at least do these at my own pace, which despite causing a lot of stress, I managed to submit before the deadline.

The workshop components brought their own anxieties. I often struggle with anxiety around new people and tend to freeze up during observed role plays, the thought of connecting with peers and being watched during practice sessions filled me with dread. The vulnerability required to learn supervision skills in front of others felt quite daunting.

Unexpected Discoveries

What surprised me most was how wrong my fears turned out to be. The connections I made with fellow trainees came more easily than I had anticipated. Instead of feeling isolated by my struggles, I found common ground with others navigating their own challenges. One of these connections has blossomed into a genuine friendship, reminding me that growth often happens when we engage in communities where we feel acceptance and belonging.

But on reflection, maybe the most significant discovery was how much I was genuinely enjoying the supervision itself. There’s something deeply satisfying about sitting with supervisees as they present their client work, helping them facilitate their reflections using frameworks like the seven-eyed model. I love watching the lightbulb moments when a supervisee sees their work from a new angle or gains insight into their therapeutic relationships, or indeed with themselves.

A New Perspective

I expected to feel nervous or uncertain in the supervisor role, instead I found a renewed energy and enthusiasm. The work I’m doing to help other counsellors develop their skills, process challenging cases, and grow in their practice, has brought a fresh perspective to my career that I hadn’t anticipated.

Looking back, I realize that my decade of counselling experience was building on my own practice, but also laying the foundations for this next phase of my life and career. All those years of client work, of navigating therapeutic relationships, of managing my own personal and professional development (with the help of my own supervisors of course), had been building toward something bigger.

For Those Considering the Journey

If you’re a counsellor curious about supervision training or considering a new direction in your practice, I’d encourage you to explore it. Yes, it can be challenging, especially if you have learning differences or social anxieties like I do. But I’ve learned that our lived experiences often become our greatest strengths. My experience of being neurodivergent helps me think creatively and offer fresh perspectives into supervisees and their clients. Whilst my social anxieties make me more attuned to the vulnerability supervisees feel when sharing their work.

Since becoming a supervisor, I’ve discovered new ways to contribute to our field on top of exploring different aspects of therapeutic work, which is something I’m truly grateful for. There’s something powerful about the ripple effect of supervision: by supporting and developing other counsellors, we’re indirectly helping all the clients they’ll work with, creating positive ripples that extend far beyond our direct practice. Career development doesn’t always follow a straight line, and sometimes the most rewarding opportunities come from directions we hadn’t initially considered.

If you’re a counsellor and would like to work with me as your supervisor, please get in touch for a free videocall to see if we’d be a good match.

Pride Month 2025: The Reality Behind the Rainbow Flags

Published on by psicounselling

June brings Pride Month again, and with it the familiar mix of celebration and complexity that many of my LGBTQIA+ clients know well. While social media fills with rainbow everything and brands dust off their Pride marketing, the lived reality for many queer people remains more nuanced.

If you’re reading this, you might be wondering what Pride actually means – whether you’re still figuring out your own identity, dealing with unsupportive family, trying to get through another day feeling like yourself in a world that doesn’t always make space for that, or you’re someone supporting a loved one through these experiences.

The Gap Between Progress and Reality

Yes, some things have improved. Same-sex marriage is legal, workplace protections exist on paper, and representation in media has increased. But progress isn’t linear, and recent developments like the UK Supreme Court’s April 2025 ruling that defines “woman” as referring only to biological sex serve as stark reminders of how quickly legal protections can shift.

This ruling is expected to impact accommodations for trans women in bathrooms, hospital wards, sports clubs and more. But beyond the practical implications, there’s the psychological impact on both trans people and cisgender women who now face increased scrutiny about their “biological credentials” in spaces that should feel safe.

I see the effects of this uncertainty in my counselling practice regularly. The external world might seem more accepting in some ways, but internal struggles with identity, family relationships, and self-acceptance don’t magically resolve because it’s Pride Month – and they certainly don’t get easier when legal definitions of your identity are being contested in court.

The Mental Health Reality

Let’s be honest about what I actually see in my practice. People exhausted from code-switching between different versions of themselves depending on who they’re with. Adults still dealing with the emotional fallout from families who “love them but don’t understand.” The particular loneliness of feeling like you don’t quite fit anywhere, even within LGBTQIA+ spaces.

There’s the scenario of someone who came out at work and now wonders if every negative interaction is about their sexuality. Or the teenager whose parents say they’re supportive but keep asking when this “phase” will end. The partner of someone who’s transitioning, trying to navigate their own feelings while being supportive.

These aren’t issues that get solved by attending a Pride parade, though community connection certainly helps some people. They’re complex psychological challenges that often require time, space, and professional support to work through.

What Actually Helps

Therapy isn’t about becoming more Pride-worthy or learning to love yourself in time for rainbow season. It’s about having somewhere to untangle the mess of growing up different in a world that often expects conformity.

Sometimes that looks like grieving the family acceptance you wanted but didn’t get. Sometimes it’s learning to trust your own instincts about who’s safe to be yourself around. Often it involves unpicking years of internalized messages about what’s “normal” or acceptable.

The work is slower and messier than the Pride Month messaging suggests, but it’s also more real. It’s about figuring out how to live as yourself not just during Pride Month, but in January when no one’s talking about LGBTQIA+ issues and you still have to get up and face the world.

Beyond the Month

Pride Month will end, the flags will come down, and most people will move on to the next thing. But if you’re LGBTQIA+, you’ll still be navigating the same challenges in July.

If you’re struggling with any of this stuff – whether you’re LGBTQIA+ dealing with identity, family dynamics, or workplace stress, or you’re a family member, friend, or partner trying to understand and support someone you care about – you don’t have to figure it out alone.

I work in person and online with people across the spectrum of gender and sexuality, and I get that finding a therapist who actually understands these issues (rather than just saying they’re “LGBTQIA+ friendly”) matters. If you think counselling might help, you can contact me on 07568 350 457, email me on psi.counselling@gmail.com or use the site contact form.

And if you’re in crisis, support is available year-round, not just during Pride Month. Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123, and the LGBT Foundation offers specific support on 0345 3 30 30 30.

The Realities of Being a Counsellor: Reflections from the last Decade

Published on by psicounselling

This month I’m celebrating 10 years as a practising counsellor. As I’m writing this I can’t believe it’s been a whole decade since I first sat down with a new client! This is such a milestone for me and a massive achievement, I can’t help but feel so proud of myself.

Thinking back over this time, I’ve had such varied experiences and done a whole lot of self reflection and personal growth, as well as thinking about the counselling field as a whole, and there are some key points I’d like to share with you all.

Human first, Counsellor second

One of the most important things I’ve learnt over the last 10 years is that counsellors and psychotherapists are not perfect beings that know all the answers, have all their sh*t together and never mess up. Imposter syndrome is rife within the counselling community and there is often a pressure to be ‘perfect’, when actually this is not realistic nor doable.

Actually, both counselling theory and my personal experience over the years has taught me that (generally speaking) when I make mistakes within the counselling space and own them, it has a positive effect because it reminds our clients that it’s OK to be imperfect, something that many of us struggle with and which society often tries to convince us otherwise.

Mental health professionals are not immune to mental health issues

I have struggled with both anxiety and depression throughout most of my life, and although part of my training included having my own personal therapy, being a counsellor does not suddenly make me immune to these issues cropping back up when life throws me curveballs. In fact, I have been in and out of therapy for the past 10+ years and I am very much a better person for it.

As well as having my own therapy when the occasion calls for it, striving for regular and consistent self-care plays a major role for me in being able to be there for my clients and successfully help them navigate their issues. My self care varies greatly, from striving to lead a healthy lifestyle and making time for the hobbies I love, to charging a fair fee and saying no when my books are full.

Qualifications are not everything

Over the years I have met some brilliant counsellors, and some awful ones! One thing I’ve noticed is that more academically trained counsellors and psychotherapists don’t necessarily equate to being more successful in helping their clients. There is definitely a strong vocational element to this kind of work, and the personality and personal characteristics of the counsellor play a major role in the ability to do this job.

Of course, as counselling is an unregulated profession, it’s best to check that any counsellor/psychotherapist you work with has gone through some formal training and has appropriate qualifications (training often takes years and the minium professional standard is a Level 4 diploma).

The client-counsellor relationship is key

Just as qualifications aren’t everything, there is no one type of counselling that is better than the rest. Actually, it’s arguable the single most important factor in a positive and successful therapeutic outcome is the strength of the ‘therapeutic alliance’ i.e. the relationship the client has with their counsellor*. This often means it can be a bit ‘trial and error’ trying to find a therapist that is the right fit for you.

There are still many barriers for people accessing therapy

Although video call counselling has become more mainstream in recent years (thanks COVID!), unfortunately there are still things that get in the way of people getting help with their mental health.

The cost of living crisis makes private therapy an unrealistic option for many, and with the NHS overstretched and underfunded, getting therapy through this route is often met with incredibly long wait times and short-term models that are unsuitable for some.

Other barriers include cultural stigmas around speaking to a stranger about your problems or the idea that having therapy makes you ‘weak’ somehow. For some, they put it off because they don’t know how to choose the right counsellor or not understanding how the space can help.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this and found it helpful, feel free to comment, like and share it on your social media. If you’re looking to start therapy, get in touch to see if I can help.

*Horvath, A. O., & Symonds, B. D. (1991). Relation between working alliance and outcome in psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 38(2), 139–149. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.38.2.139

FAQ—Coronavirus and therapy

Published on by psicounselling

FAQ—COVID-19 and therapy

UPDATED 04/04/22

Q Are there still restrictions on face to face sessions?

A As part of the ‘living with COVID’ guidance, I no longer have any covid-19 mitigation in place.

UPDATED 19/07/21

Q Are there still restrictions on face to face sessions?

A Yes, despite legal restrictions easing, I feel it’s best practice to continue with all my covid-19 mitigation for the time being. I will look to review this decision every few months.

UPDATED 15/08/20

Q Are you doing face to face sessions?

A Yes I have now made my counselling space ‘covid secure’ & now offering face to face sessions again.

Q Are you taking on any new clients for online sessions?

A Yes I am still taking on new clients; sessions can be either face to face or online video calling.

Q How would we do video calling (online) sessions?

A We would use the VSee software/app, which is free and secure video calling software designed for professional use. You can download/install and sign up at www.vsee.com or find the app on iOS/android. Online sessions will need to be similarly set up to face to face sessions, meaning we both will be situated in a quiet, private space that is free of distractions and where we are able to sit comfortably. *Note: video call quality is often best when using a wired connection to a PC/laptop*

UPDATED 15/03/20

Q What are you doing to minimize risk?

A I am taking extra precautions to frequently and thoroughly wash my hands at every opportunity,  frequently using anti-viral hand sanitizer and avoiding shaking hands.

Within the counselling space, after each client I am disinfecting all hard surfaces that clients might touch, and temporarily minimizing my soft furnishings. 2m distance will be kept between us at all times.

Furthermore, I am asking all clients to use the provided anti-viral hand sanitizer at the beginning of each session and all clients have access to a sink to wash their hands if they wish to.

Q What can I do to minimize my risk?

A Keep up to date on official NHS guidelines and government guidelines and do what you feel is best for you.

Q What happens if you or I have to self-isolate?

A If you need to self-isolate, I ask that you let me know as soon as possible so we can make appropriate arrangements. Similarly, if I need to self-isolate I will get in touch with you as quickly as I can so we can make preparations. If this happens, you will have a choice of options: to switch our sessions to video call (online) for the isolation period, put them on hold as necessary or end them altogether.

Q Can I switch to online sessions as a precaution?

A Yes of course we can switch from face to face to online sessions if that is what you wish to do. Just let me know if this is the case for you.

Q What should I do if I feel unwell before an upcoming session?

A If you feel unwell in the days before our session, let me know and we can discuss how to proceed. If you feel unwell on the day and a session can’t take place (face to face or online), I may charge a £25 cancellation fee in accordance with my existing cancellation policy.

UPDATED 19/07/21

Q Are there still restrictions on face to face sessions?

A Yes, despite legal restrictions easing, I feel it’s best practice to continue with all my covid-19 mitigation for the time being. I will look to review this decision every few months.

UPDATED 15/08/20

Q Are you doing face to face sessions?

A Yes I have now made my counselling space ‘covid secure’ & now offering face to face sessions again.

Q Are you taking on any new clients for online sessions?

A Yes I am still taking on new clients; sessions can be either face to face or online video calling.

Q How would we do video calling (online) sessions?

A We would use the VSee software/app, which is free and secure video calling software designed for professional use. You can download/install and sign up at www.vsee.com or find the app on iOS/android. Online sessions will need to be similarly set up to face to face sessions, meaning we both will be situated in a quiet, private space that is free of distractions and where we are able to sit comfortably. *Note: video call quality is often best when using a wired connection to a PC/laptop*

UPDATED 15/03/20

Q What are you doing to minimize risk?

A I am taking extra precautions to frequently and thoroughly wash my hands at every opportunity,  frequently using anti-viral hand sanitizer and avoiding shaking hands.

Within the counselling space, after each client I am disinfecting all hard surfaces that clients might touch, and temporarily minimizing my soft furnishings. 2m distance will be kept between us at all times.

Furthermore, I am asking all clients to use the provided anti-viral hand sanitizer at the beginning of each session and all clients have access to a sink to wash their hands if they wish to.

Q What can I do to minimize my risk?

A Keep up to date on official NHS guidelines and government guidelines and do what you feel is best for you.

Q What happens if you or I have to self-isolate?

A If you need to self-isolate, I ask that you let me know as soon as possible so we can make appropriate arrangements. Similarly, if I need to self-isolate I will get in touch with you as quickly as I can so we can make preparations. If this happens, you will have a choice of options: to switch our sessions to video call (online) for the isolation period, put them on hold as necessary or end them altogether.

Q Can I switch to online sessions as a precaution?

A Yes of course we can switch from face to face to online sessions if that is what you wish to do. Just let me know if this is the case for you.

Q What should I do if I feel unwell before an upcoming session?

A If you feel unwell in the days before our session, let me know and we can discuss how to proceed. If you feel unwell on the day and a session can’t take place (face to face or online), I may charge a £25 cancellation fee in accordance with my existing cancellation policy.